Writing a memoir, especially one that includes exploration of the dark side of everything, including God, is hard work. It makes me want to go to analysis because I have begun to see much I haven’t see before. Stuff I didn’t even know existed. Amina is one.

Loren Pedersen writes, “the more in touch with the inner feminine a man is, the more comfortable he is likely to be with inner self-exploration. The anima, as a potential connection to his unconscious, may appear personified in his dreams and fantasies.”

When I picked up his book Dark Hearts, one that was leant to me, I had little interest. That was at the beginning of August. I am now the proud owner of the book and reading it at the fast clip of about two pages a day. No meat here. Hah!

“He Had The Wrong Dreams.”

“All wrong.” Biff then added in Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman. “The man didn’t know who he was.”

I can identity. Can you?

My quest is to unearth my dark side and my angst is serving me.

Some mornings I feel like my walk is over and other mornings I am just beginning.

I need to be Harry and to have Hermine, characters in Hermann Hesse’s Steppenwolf.

Oh wait, I think my life’s partner was Hermine in an earlier life. Was I Harry?



Fascinated by Darkness, Me

Spiritual joys come only from solitude / So the wise choose the bottom of the well / For the darkness down there beats / The darkness up here. / He who follows at the heels of the world / Never saves his head.

–Rumi, Solitude

Do you want to be at the bottom or the top of the well? I must not be wise because I would have chosen the top for reasons of sanity. I know it up here, I am trapped down there.

But the point is well taken, up here I am either tempted or coerced to follow the world. So I choose to be in the well of my head and never leave home without it. This way I can be me, but not too much.

The Place In-between

James Hillman writes, “The place that analysis and theology have in common is the soul. But the soul is a ‘non-place’ for neither theology or dynamic psychotherapy regards it as its main concern. The one studies God and God’s intentions, the other studies men and women’s motivations, while the place in-between is too often left unoccupied.”

From Hillman’s book Insearch:psychology and religion.

In the Monadnock area of New Hampshire, we have group called Monadnock Area Psychotherapist Services (MAPS). They are a group of psychotherapists whose aim is to include in their therapy practice the place in-between.

How appealing is that to you? Do you feel an in-between place?


Sometimes It is Over

I have never liked hospitals or nursing homes. Even saying so makes my superstitious side stand at alert. If I want the Red Sox to win when they are not, I go to my local post office where I know a Yankee fan works, and I yell out to him, “Go Yankees!” He smiles.

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An Edge in the Prophetic

In “On Art”, an essay by Edward O. Wilson in the anthology Biopoetics, Wilsowrites, “I emphasize the expansive role of poetry to argue that whereas art and science are basically different in execution, they are convergent in what they might eventually disclose about human nature.”

How does that happen? Does it happen? What do they disclose about human nature?

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