I am unable to list the number of times I have failed at something. From another’s perspective, my failures would be mostly small ones, but another’s perspective rarely counts.
I don’t like failing. It is by no means fun. Yet for all my failures, I have lived to another day.
I tend to be in the moment. When dealing with failures I consider this a good thing. I don’t hold on to them. I may experience above average stress at the time, but I move on rather quickly. Or so is my guess. I am not certain that self analysis works here. I will wait for my wife to comment.
I think what I am telling you is true because in spite of past failures I am happy with life, but not as it pertains to the writing life. For writing, failure can be a double edged sword. First, because when I write about a character failing it takes me a while to search my own experiences. Can I accurately describe what failing is like when I can’t remember my own failures?
So I work on getting in touch with and calling back to life the feelings I had on a particular failure so that it can be applied to a specific character. The problem is the feelings are back front and center.
I didn’t like this at first, but today I am in a different space. Today I believe that the calling back of feelings tends to help me resolve the unresolved as unpleasant as that may be. If I get really stuck, I know there are counselors who can help me.
Knowing that help is available is a stress reducer when dealing with failures past and present. How do you deal with the stress of failure? How do past failures help or hinder your writings?