The Stress of Failure

I am unable to list the number of times I have failed at something. From another’s perspective, my  failures would be mostly small ones, but another’s perspective rarely counts.

I don’t like failing. It is by no means fun. Yet for all my failures, I have lived to another day.

I tend to be in the moment.  When dealing with failures I consider this a good thing. I don’t hold on to them. I may experience above average stress at the time, but I move on rather quickly. Or so is my guess. I am not certain that self analysis works here. I will wait for my wife to comment.

I think what I am telling you is true because in spite of past failures I am happy with life, but not as it pertains to the writing life. For writing, failure can be a double edged sword. First, because when I write about a character failing it takes me a while to search my own experiences. Can I accurately describe what failing is like when I can’t remember my own failures?

So I work on getting in touch with and calling back to life the feelings I had on a particular failure so that it can be applied to a specific character. The problem is the feelings are back front and center.

I didn’t like this at first, but today I am in a different space. Today I believe that the calling back of feelings tends to help me resolve the unresolved as unpleasant as that may be. If I get really stuck, I know there are counselors who can help me.

Knowing that help is available is a stress reducer when dealing with failures past and present. How do you deal with the stress of failure? How do past failures help or hinder your writings?

4 thoughts on “The Stress of Failure

  1. Carole Webber November 19, 2013 / 1:51 pm

    As I write strictly for my own pleasure or for communication purposes, I do not enter the world of failure.
    If it was my goal to write professionally I might look at it in a different view, especially if I depended on a financial gain.
    My pride would also endure a blow if I had a rejection slip. I hope that I would not give up and keep on .

    • fictionfitz November 19, 2013 / 4:55 pm

      No argument on any of that. True as spoken.

  2. New Hampshire Garden Solutions November 19, 2013 / 6:48 pm

    I’d rather try and fail than not try at all. I’m sure somebody important must have said that, but I don’t know who.
    If I fail at a certain thing I tend to think that, since I got myself into the mess I should be able to get myself out of it. The trouble is, sometimes it takes a long time for me to work myself into a real good mess and I forget that it might take just as long to get out of it. Failing in writing happens to me on the blog for everyone to see, but I don’t think past failures have anything to do with it. It’s never any fun-that I’m sure of.

    • fictionfitz November 19, 2013 / 7:28 pm

      To me it is a mesmerizing subject.

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